Seriously, I don’t know how many times I have checked my mailbox, only to find completely nothing inside or no letters addressed to me. I’ve been reading and receiving news about how others have already gotten their acceptance letters, and frankly, I am scared. Scared to my bones about the whole being accepted into university thing. I just don’t know….Mak says not to blame anyone about whatever happened previously, about my interview thing but it is easier said than done. People have advised me to just be patient and not be so anxious and nervous about it, but like I said, its easier said than done. They don’t know how it feels like to open the mailbox to only find out that the letter that I have been hoping to get, is still not there. Without fail, I will check the mailbox twice everyday. Yes, maybe I am crazy and maybe I am slowly stepping into the area of insanity but believe me, I can’t control myself. Everytime I think about it, my heart drops like a ton to the pit of my stomach. Thinking happy thoughts doesn’t help anymore. I pray to Allah that he’ll grant my prayers and I guess, at the end of the day, that’s basically all I can do. I’m left with nothing else to do about the whole thing.

There are times, that I just hate myself for being so careless and there are times that I try to act all calm as if it doesn’t bother me. But, it doesn’t do me any good. I get frustrated and I snap. Snap at anyone who is unlucky enough to be the victim of my frustration and anxiety. I’m sorry and I know my actions are not excusable but please try to understand. Who would have thought that even after the ‘A’ Levels, I’ll still be experiencing stress. And its growing by the day. I want all of it to work out. I really do.

Pushing that aside, I have a new cousin! We welcomed her into my maternal family yesterday afternoon.

Chubby isn’t she? This is the first in a few years for me to come close with a baby. Personally, I’m not a baby or a toddler person for that matter. Yeah, I may sound mean but I’m just not. Maybe when I grow older, then the motherly instincts will start to kick in. But, Eva looked so cute and peaceful sleeping that I felt my heart soften a little seeing her. The whole family went to visit Cik Ain who gave birth yesterday afternoon, and her baby at East Shore Hospital earlier on today afternoon, where we bumped into Umi Gegerl and family after a few minutes arriving there. She and her family was there to visit Cik Ain and Eva too.

After East Shore Hospital, Bapak took us to Expo Exhibition Hall. There was a food exhibition there but as usual, despite it being called a food exhibition, the little stalls there sold other stuff besides food. I got for myself two new babydoll tops courtesy of Mak. Thanks! As for food, we bought one too many packets of hotdogs. Various types of hotdogs. The ones with cheese in them, mushroom flavoured ones and a few more. We bought those yummy yogurt ice creams and many many packets of snacks as well. I guess all of us couldn’t help but spend on the food items there that were going cheap cheap cheap!

So at night, since we had alot of hotdogs, Mak made Prata Hotdog. We saw prata hotdogs at Expo earlier on but boy, they sure were very very expensive. Hence, we made our own Prata Hotdogs! Prata Hotdogs are easy to make and its even better when they’re homemade cause then, it can suit your own taste. As for us, our Prata Hotdogs were spicy and cheesy. First, cook some instant pratas and boil or fry the hotdogs. We used those big cheese and mushroom flavoured hotdogs. Then, place the prata on a plate. We then spread half of the prata with spicy sambal tumis and the other half of the prata with cheese spread. After that, place the hotdog on the prata and roll up the prata with the hotdog. Finally, dig in! You’ll get to taste the spicyness of the sambal tumis and the cheese together. Trust me, its easy to make and it was very filling. I only had one Prata Hotdog cause it was definitely enough for me. Furthermore, if made at home, you’ll get to eat more and save money. I’m sure the total costs of making one at home is much cheaper than the ones sold.